A violent criminal breaks into a couples home looking for money. Inside, he finds the young couple in bed. After ordering the husband out of the bed, the robber ties the husband to a chair and crawls onto the bed with the wife. While tying her to the bed the robber kisses her neck, and gets up and proceeds to the bathroom.
  While he's gone the husband whispers to his wife, &quot;I recongnize that guy, he's an escaped convict....he probably hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck, he wants sex...whatever you do don't complain, do whatever he tells you no matter how disgusting or vile he wants to be. If he gets angry he'll kill us both. Be strong honey...I love you&quot;
  The wife whisperes back, &quot;He wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear. He's gay, thinks you're cute, and wanted to know if we have any vaseline, I told him it's in the bathroom....be strong honey, I love you too&quot;   :wink: