Monica Lewinski was looking at herself nude in a mirror, after a relaxing bath. 
Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight was depressing her.
In an act of desperation, she decided to call on God for help.
'God…if you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to you,' She prayed.

And just like that…
Her ears fell off. 


Monica Lewinski went to the cleaners to have her pant suit pressed.
As she was leaving, the cashier said &quot;Come again!&quot; Monica replied &quot;No, mustard!&quot;