His manual drive is stuck in reverse.

 

He's 2 burps short of Acid Reflux.

 

He's one satellite dish short of a TV.

 

His logic is like a lawn full of weeds.

 

He's got a fire in the fireplace, but his fluke is shut.

 

She's like a bowl of alphabet soup that spells nothing.

 

His fashion sense is like mis-aligned wallpaper.

 

He's a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

 

He's a boot short of being connected.

 

He's a few trees short of a forest.

 

He's a stubble's length from a clean shave.

 

He's a few beers short of a six-pack.

 

He's a few bricks short of a wall.

 

He's a few planes short of an Air Force.

 

He's a calendar with blank squares.

 

He's a BLT missing the bacon.

 

He's a few fries short of a Happy Meal.

 

She's about as reliable as a support bra without the wires.

 

I need this like I need a Popsicle without a stick.

 

He's a few pickles short of a jar.

 

He's a pea brain without a pod.

He's a few pages short of a book.

 

She's one rose short of a bouquet.

 

He's a flying buttress short of a cathedral.

 

He's a pane short of a window.

 

He's a button short of a shirt.

 

She's knitting with only one needle.

 

Yes, he's playing with a full deck. But,
it includes the Jokers.

 

His clock is missing some numbers.

 

He's missing some buttons on his remote.

 

He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer (or block).

 

He's not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

 

Oh he sees things clearly, but he forgot to remove the lens cap.

 

The lights are on, but no one is home.

 

Her receiver seems to be off the hook.

 

The cursor's flashing, but there's no response.

 

Her mouth is in gear, but her brain is in neutral.

 

She's all crowns and no fillings.

 

She's all wax with no wick.

 

He's a full throttle, dry tank.

 

He's swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.

 

He's got a Teflon brain = nothing seems to stick.

 

While some drink from the fountain of knowledge,
he just gargles.

 

He's about as useful as an ashtray in a motorcycle.

 

She's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

 

This is about as necessary as dinosaur repellant.

 

She's got bubbles in her think tank.

 

I think he's been short on oxygen one time too many?

 

His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.

 

If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow
his nose.

 

If brains were taxed, he'd be getting a rebate.

 

My pet rock is better company than he is.

 

He's &quot;Not the Weakest Link&quot;...he's not even on the chain.

 

If it's true, &quot;What you don't know won't hurt you,&quot;
then he's totally invulnerable.

 

If you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change.