Heard by the computer help desk: 

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
 
Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"
 
Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."
 
Helpdesk: "Can you tell me what the password was?"
 
Customer: "Five stars."
 
______
 
Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?"
 
Customer: "A white one."

______
 
 
Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out."
 
Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?"
 
Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck."
 
Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."
 
Customer: "No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry..."
 
______
 
Helpdesk: "Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen."
 
Customer: "Your left or my left?"
 
______
 
Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?"
 
Male customer: "Hello, I can't print."
 
Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me and..."
 
Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"
 
______
 
Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'! . I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it."
 
______
 
Customer: "I have problems printing in red."
 
Helpdesk: "Do you have a color printer?"
 
Customer: "Aaaah... Thank you."
 
______
 
Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore."
 
Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?"
 
Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer."
 
Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back."
 
Customer: "Okay."
 
Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?"
 
Customer: "Yes."
 
Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?"
 
Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ahh, that one works!"
 
______
 
Helpdesk: "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor! , and the number '7'."
 
Customer: "Is that '7' in capital letters?"
 
______
 
Helpdesk: "What anti-virus program do you use?"
 
Customer: "Netscape."
 
Helpdesk: "That's not an anti-virus program."
 
Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer."
 
______
 
Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!"
 
______
 
Helpdesk: "How may I help you?"
 
Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail."
 
Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?"
 
Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?"


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