Wal-Mart Application 

 

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen 
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. 

They hired him because he was so funny.........you gotta love it!!! 

NAME: George Martin 

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one 
that will cooperate) 

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, 
whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be 
applying here in the first place. 

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz 
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can 
haggle. 

EDUCATION: Yes. 

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. 

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. 

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and 
post-it notes. 

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. 

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. 

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more 
intimate environment. 

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? 

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING 
UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? 

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be 
"Do you have a car that runs?" 

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a 
winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. 

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! 

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas 
with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the 
greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that 
now. 

NEAREST RELATIVE....7 miles 

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR 
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. 

***Old People Rock! ***