Why Men Are Happier People


As men, we are happy because our lives are simple. For example: 


Your last name stays put

The garage is all yours 

Wedding plans take care of themselves 

Chocolate is just another snack 

You can be President

You can never get pregnant

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park 

You can wear NO shirt to a water park

Car mechanics tell you the truth 

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is "just too icky" 

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt 

Same work, more pay 

Wrinkles add character 

Wedding dress -- $5,000 Tux rental -- $100 

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected 

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet 

One mood all the time 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat 

You know stuff about tanks 

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase 

You can open all your own jars 

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness 

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend 

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack 

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough 

You almost never have strap problems in public

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes

Everything on your face stays its original color 

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades 

You only have to shave your face and neck 

You can play with toys all your life 

Your belly usually hides your big hips

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look

You can "do" your nails with a pocket-knife

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache

You can shopp for Christmas gifts for 25 relatives on December 24, in 25 minutes

It's no wonder men are happier.